Am I really happy?

That is the question that I ask myself all the time : ''Am I really happy?'' I have everything but I am not happy. I always feel that empty void in me. And I am not the only one in this world to feel this way. I have met a lot of people in my life : the rich, the poor, the powerful, the weak and those who just wander everywhere.

I have seen the same infinite bitterness in everybody's eyes and you can see that bitterness in my eyes as well. It is a sadness which people weren't always prepared to acknowledge but it is always there. But people are telling that they are not sad.

Some people appear to be happy so that the world doesn't say that they are depressed or maybe they don't give the matter much thought. Others make plans so that they are happy for the rest of their life. I'm going to have a husband, a home, two or three children, a bungalow and also a house in the countryside. After buying a car, they think that this is the meaning of life.

But their eyes betray the sadness that even they don't know they carry in their soul. I cannot say with confidence that everybody is unhappy. They are just busy ; working overtime, worrying about their children, their husband, their finance problems and their career.

If you ask people if they are happy. Most of them say : I'm fine, I've got everything I ever wanted. Have you ever stopped to wonder if that's all there is to your life? Maybe it is a yes or a no. At times I think is it what I really want in life? Like it is said we are never satisfied in life.

However in our subconscious we keep on worrying about bad consequences. It is something that we cannot control. Our minds cannot stop working. We are always thinking about the future and not the present. After all we are all human beings.

I once met a beggar on the streets. He is certainly the picture of misery, but when I look at his eyes, they are definitely hiding something. His sadness is showing so clearly and I can't even believe it. He is only the person who told me that something is missing in his life and he didn't tell me what is exactly missing.

BUT WHAT IS MISSING? I DON'T KNOW.

Whenever I look at the celebrity magazines with everybody smiling, laughing and being contented, I wonder if they are really happy or just pretending. That question always arises in my mind. How can you always be smiling? You can be happy, sad, annoyed, depressed, hurt, anxious and every different feeling.

People often ask me every year : ''How was your summer trip?'' And they say that I am so lucky. I just tell them that it was really fun and all when in fact I got bored and tired at times, travelling here and there for a long time.

It's like an actress is like : ''The actress in the photo with me and with whim I'm smiling and celebrating could steal my role in a movie from me someday or maybe even tomorrow.'' ''Am I prettier than here?'' ''Is my dress okay?'' ''Why are we smiling when we hate each other?'' ''Why are we pretending just to show the world?''

Let's spend a few minutes and think if we are really happy the way our lives are going on and what should we do to improve our lives. It is our life and it is up to us to see how we are going to live. We should keep on asking ourselves the same question : ''What is missing for us to be happy in our lives?''